Set the right tone-Promote win-win versus win-lose - Focus as much on the PROcess as on the end Result-Expect to date before getting married-Emphasize what CAN be achieved rather than what can't - Be the first to give of yourself-Work hard individually; benefit mutually - Assume that others have your best interests at heart - Secure small wins to build momentum - Look at things from others' perspectives-Spend as much time listening as hearing - Ensure that everyone is on the same page -Show as much respect as you want to receive in return - Compliment people in public; criticize them in private - Listen to others' thoughts before presenting yours - Protect everything said in confidence - Build on mutual agreement and areas of common interest - Lead through BUY-IN rather than intimidation - Spend equal time understanding and persuading - Celebrate as a team - Discourage cliques Be OPEN, honest, and transparent - Encourage "we" rather than "us versus them" Discourage grandstanding - Never back anyone into a corner - Forge a relationship built on trust - Don't succumb to pettiness - Maintain momentum - Don't make backroom deals - Prohibit destructive behavior - Play nice or don't play - Be FAIR at all costs - Keep your Promises - Make everyone look GOOD - Separate the issue from the person - Never win at the expense of the relationship - Watch others' backs and they'll watch yours in return - Park your ego outside - Find the merit in others' arguments - Take the high ground, especially when you have the upper hand - Compromise your position, but not your principles - Be civil and respectful of others' views - Demonstrate good faith - Prove your intentions through actions rather than words - When in doubt, do what's right - Remember, TRUST takes a long time to develop, but it can be lost in seconds.

By Frank Sonnenberg